Lady Marmalade
by OBluver
Summary: Harry, Ron and Draco discover the naughty side to Hr when they're stuck at her house during a snow storm. TwoParter. Eventually HHr.
1. Chapter 1

A?N- Ok so here is my new story. It was based off of a challenge from and I think it's pretty good. I just want to clarify that there are four girls dancing. And Ginny sings the first verse, Lavender the second, Luna the third, and Hermione the fourth. So I hope you enjoy it and review!

"Potter I told you this was a bad idea!" Draco yelled over the wind as it howled in their ears snow thrashing against their faces.

"If you'd hurry up we can make it to Hermionie's it's closest!" Harry yelled back to Ron and Draco as they were struggling their way through the snow. After the Final War against Voldemort Harry and Ron had finally convinced Draco (who had come over to their side after his father was imprisoned) to have a 'guys day out' but apparently mother nature disagreed with them.

"Almost there… Yes!" Harry reached for the door yanking it open so they could all stumble in slamming the door behind them. The warmth and smell of cinnamon greeted them as they looked around the small house.

"Hermionie are you here!" Ron yelled. No one answered.

"She must be out" Harry said dully sinking onto her couch tired as hell from walking through the snow "I hope she's alright" Ron smirked but Draco looked furious.

"Who gives a damn about your little girlfriend what about us?! You and Weasley here almost got us killed!" but no one was paying attention to him. He ranted like this to much now for anybody to really listen. "I wonder what Granger has to do around here?" Ron looked up curious but Harry shook his head

"We're not going through Hermionie's stuff. God only knows what she'll do to us if she finds one thing out of place."

"Come on Potter you can defeat a Dark Lord but can't look around your own girlfriend's house."

"She's not Harry's girlfriend!" Ron piped up but to not much effect Draco just laughed it off

"Might as well be, I mean she's the only woman Potter spends his time with. She already has you whipped." Harry stood up angrily not knowing why. Sure he did spend a lot of time with Hermionie but that doesn't mean their dating. He would not just sit there and let Draco talk about Hermionie in this fashion but Draco continued to talk. "Look right there defending her honor. I don't see Weasley over there doing that do you?" Harry sat back down in defeat.

"Come on Harry. We are alone in Hermionie's house think of all the stuff we could find out. I mean I have always wanted to know…" he trailed off blushing like mad.

"What is it Weasley remember this is our guys day out you can say it." Draco said smirking probably already getting an idea in his head

"Well it's come to mind a few times just… What kind of knickers she wears." His ears were bright red by now but Draco didn't care he jumped up.

"I'll race you to her bedroom to find out." Draco yelled already running down the small hallway opening up doors to see which one was her bedroom. Ron immediately ran after followed by Harry. As they finally reached to her room they saw Draco already steadily pulling drawer after drawer out looking for his goal.

"Aha! Jackpot! Boys you have to see this." Ron rushed over and as he looked into the drawer a huge grin plastered his face. Harry tentatively crossed to room. He knew this was wrong very wrong in fact. But it still didn't stop him from being curious. As he looked into the drawer a lump formed in his throat and before he knew it he couldn't talk. Before him lie thongs lots of them scattered around the drawer with lacy multi-colored bras. Draco picked up one of the bras and read the little tag.

"34C well I'm impressed who would know someone like little-miss-tightwad would have anything like this." Harry had to look anywhere but at the bras and thongs. The more he look the image in Hermionie in only them grew steadily clearer. Instead he looked over at the television where he saw a tape stuffed, badly, behind it. He moved closer and see it's labeled 'Lady Marmalade'.

"What the…" he started but before he could examine the tape more closely it was snatched quickly out of his hands.

"Potter I didn't think I would ever say this to you but, I love you for this wonderful WONDEFUL discovery!" Harry swiveled around quickly in time to see Draco putting the tape into the VCR under Hermione's television.

"Malfoy I don't think that's…" But his breath was caught in throat when he saw what was flashing upon the screen.

Four girls, four wonderful beautiful girls dancing, ooh were they dancing, in the smallest outfits Harry had every seen.

**Hey sister, go sister, Soul sister, flow sister  
Hey sister, go sister, Soul sister, go sister**

They all sang at the perfect pitch dancing rhythmically. Harry could feel himself get hot but he couldn't stop it. His eyes were glued to the screen.

**He met marmelade down in old moulin rouge  
Strutting her stuff on the street  
She said, hello, hey joe  
You wanna give it a go?, oh  
Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da  
Gitchi gitchi ya ya hee  
Mocca chocolata ya ya  
Creole lady marmalade  
Voulez-vous cocher avec moi, ce soir?  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? **

"That's my sister man!" Ron yelled struggling to get the remote from Draco. "Come on don't make me watch it if it has my sister in it!"

"Shut up Weasly! Just don't focus look another girl… is that the old Gryffindor whore Lavender Brown?" Draco stated as his eyes glazed over  
**He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up  
Boy drank all that magnolia wine  
On her black satin sheets  
Is where he started to freak, yeah  
Gitchi gitchi ya ya da da  
Gitchi gitchi ya ya hee  
Mocca chocolata ya ya  
Creole lady marmalade, uh  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?  
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? **

'This isn't happening' Harry thought his mind willing him to look away from the screen 'Guys like me, good guys, don't watch sexy videos of their best friend and her friends dancing. But God… Is that Luna?'

**Yeah, yeah, aw  
We come through with the money and the garter belts  
Let them know we bought that cake, straight out the gate  
We independent women, some mistake us for whores  
I'm saying, why spend mine when i can spend yours?  
Disagree?!, well that's you and i'm sorry!  
I'ma keep playing these cat's stuff like atari  
Wear high heeled shoes, get love from the jews  
Four bad ass chicks from the moulin rouge**

"This just gets better and better!" Draco exclaimed. With the song was almost over Hermione, who had been standing slightly behind all the other girls emerged. And at that point Harry thought he was going to cry. He had never seen his best friend look so… He had never seen any girl for that matter look so… so… Goddamn sexy.

**Hey, hey, hey  
Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth, oh  
Color cafe au lait, alright  
Made the savage beast inside  
Roar until he cried  
More, more, more!**

"We have to stop this you guys!" Harry finally yelled yanking the tape out of the t.v. The other two men looked at him with angry faces that quickly turned green.

"Stop what Harry?" a feminine voice that Harry had never heard so filled with rage before came from the doorframe. Hermione had finally come home.

DSCLAIMER- Dur...Do I really need to tell you I don't own Harry Potter or the song 'Lady Marmalade'?  



	2. Chapter 2

A/N- Ok so this is the second and last part, so I hope you enjoy it. Remember REVIEW! 

"I CAN'T BELIEVE ANY OF YOU WOULD BE SO STUPID!" Hermione yelled in her car. The snow storm had let up and Hermione was currently driving the three men home. She was radiating anger.

"Well I think I'll walk how about you Ron?" Draco suggested slightly cowering in the backseat as the car stopped at a red light. Hermione glared at them almost daring them to leave the car.

"Yeah lets go. See ya Harry… And Hermi…" But they were out of the car and running before her name could fully come out.

"Look Mione' I…" Harry started

"No! You get no right to talk to me, to look at me, and most defiantly not to call me your silly little nickname." She screamed at him. He looked at her in the worst way.

'_What did I do to deserve this? Oh I remember I'm became friends with Ron and that other twit' _He thought as Hermione continued to drive to the flat where he lived. He knew it was about fifteen minutes away and that he had to do something to make up with Hermione in that time.

"Look Hermione…"

"Don't…" She tried to cut him off but he started talking before she couldn't cut into him.

"Look, I know what we did was wrong." Hermione snorted

"Like Hell"

"But does it help if I told you that you looked… I don't know good and…" He was trying to be calm but the occasional glares that he threw at him were really starting to become unnerving.

"Oh yeah when I get dressed up and danced like a slut it's the sexiest you've ever seen me." She spat at him with almost an underlined bitterness.

"No I didn't say it's the sexiest I've ever seen you. I just said that you looked good. I've seen you look sexier than that."

"But…"

"It was in our seventh year, and I had just had a bad dream." He paused bracing himself to tell something he swore he would never tell anyone "And I was shaken really bad by it, so knowing that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep I went down to the common room. And right when I got to the bottom of the staircase I saw you sitting by the fire looking so… rapturous, there is no other word to describe it. The way the firelight bounced off your face I thought that in that moment I could never again think of you as just my best friend. Because you don't need all the make-up or the revealing clothes to look sexy. You just need to be… my loving, comforting Hermione." He closed his eyes, almost out of shame for thinking of his best friend in such a revealing way. Things were quiet for a moment as they both reveled in the moment.

"You know we made that video in seventh year. Oh God, it seems like so long ago. Luna had a thing for Ron, I think she still does actually, and Ginny was in her little thing with Dean, and Lavender, well, I truly don't know who Lavender was thinking about." Her knuckles were now white on the wheel and she refused to even glance towards Harry. "And I… I was thinking about my best friend when I was dancing in front of that camera, because you were the only one who would ever really look at me, and I guess I thought that something that racy might grab your attention to look a little bit closer" He was the one who couldn't look at her now, but he could feel her gave digging into him.

"I never did look the same way at you again you know." He finally said his gaze firmly out the window.

"What?"

"After I saw you that night I never looked at you as if you were my best friend again. I looked at you like… the woman who haunts my dreams and remains with me during the day. That video that was… maybe the greatest thing I've ever seen, but I wouldn't of had to see it to know that I love you." He finally looked over at her and what he saw almost blew him out of his chair. He saw a woman with tears streaming down her face and a halo of vulnerability. He now knew that he would never be able to take his eyes off of that face.

"We're here" She stating simply not looking straight at Harry, but at the window behind him.

"Hermione, shouldn't we talk about th…" Harry stuttered trying to make sense of this new sudden occurrence. But Hermione quickly shushed him.

"All in time." And at that Harry got out of the car and watched the love of his life drive off.

That night Harry got very little to no sleep. He tossed and turned and when he did finally fall to sleep his dreams were filled with the girl who might not love him back.

'_At least she knows' _he kept telling himself over and over again.

The next morning as Harry was getting his usual coffee he heard an unusual noise coming from his living room. When he went to investigate he found a single snow white owl holding a tape shaped package. It had no note or card, but he had a feeling he knew who it was from. With shaky hands he put the tape in his VCR and watched as his love came upon the screen. This video was totally different from the last one he had watched. There sat Hermione by the fireplace in her living room. She was fully dressed, and in Harry's opinion, she couldn't have looked more like an angel. A soft piano played in the background as the angel started singing.

"**There's a song that's inside of my soul  
It's the one that I've tried to write over, and over again  
I'm awake in the infinite cold  
But you sing to me over, and over, and over again"**

Harry felt a familiar lump growing in his throat, but this time it was for a totally different reason. He had never seen anything so beautiful.

"**So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours I pray  
To be only yours  
I know now, you're my only hope"**

Small pin pricks of water were appearing at the sides of his eyes and he didn't even bother to wipe them off like he usually did.

"**Sing to me the song of the stars  
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing, and laughing again  
When it feels like my dreams are so far  
Sing to me of the plans that you have for me over again"**

Was this really happening to him? Harry kept asking himself that same question. The hero isn't supposed to get the girl. Or is he?

**So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hands and pray  
To be only yours I pray  
To be only yours  
I know now, you're my only hope**

His heart began to race at a very rapid pace.

**I give you my destiny  
I'm givin' you all of me  
I want your symphony, singing in all that I am  
At the top of my lungs, I'm givin' it back**

He didn't know if he could handle anymore of this without crying. Is she telling him what he thinks she is?

**So I lay my head back down  
And I lift my hand and pray  
To be only yours I pray  
To be only yours I pray  
To be only yours  
I know now, you're my only hope**

The video ended and Harry was left with the blackness of the screen. He sat there for a minute reveling in what he had just seen. And then a broad smile spread across his face because he knew he had just becoming the luckiest man on earth.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N- Ok so I know this story was supposed to be over but, I don't know, someone reviewed asking me to do another chapter, and it got me thinking about what another chapter would be like, and the end result was this. I guess it can be an epilouge of sorts. But I hope you like it. and REVIEW... ALOT! 

Squeals and laughter filled the small house as three women scampered around throwing various items of food at each other, and at times attacking each other with pillows. It was exactly the way Hermione envision her bachelorette party to be: an old fashion slumber party with her two best friends.

After a while the girls slumped down on a single couch, lying haphazardly on top of one another, and panting. The three were all very stunning in their own way. A short radiant red-head was the epitome of lust in human form. With an hour-glass figure and light beautiful skin she radiated sex. The only blonde in the group was probably just as much of a knock out as the first. The expression blondes have more fun when you look at her. Mischievous blue eyes twinkled under bangs that gave her and air of mystery.

But by far the most beautiful among them was a well built brunette lying on top of the queue panting harder then ever. Even with her small stance and petite frame she came off as a powerful figure, but still soft in her own way. Her curly hair only added to her unique look along with her large curves and small waist. But what truly made Hermione Granger beautiful were her eyes. Her honey brown eyes always shone with unseen happiness, and here lying with her two best friends they had never shone more.

"Hermione" Ginny said finally getting her regular breathing back. "How did you ever get Harry to let us have the house all to ourselves?" Hermione blushed and when she failed to produce an answer Luna piped in to.

"Yeah, he's usually so protective. I'm surprised he let you out of his sight for a moment." She raised her eyebrows suggestively "So what kind of spell do you have cast over our powerful friend known as the boy who lives?" This only made Hermione blush more, but it only made the girl press on farther before she broke.

"Alright, alright!" she exclaimed giving into their extreme nagging. The other girls let out a small squeals and exchanged high fives. "If you must know I black-mailed him."

"Ohhh… blackmail sounds juicy." Ginny squealed fully satisfied with the answer she had received.

"Yes, please spill… if only Lavender could have made it, she would love this!" Luna exclaimed getting misty eyed like she used to back in their school days.

"Oh, who cares about Lavender? It's her own fault that she got married and got knocked-up!" it would sound almost vicious to anyone who was outside listening but the other two girls knew it was only a joke. "I want to hear about this black-mail. Was it girly underwear? Harry did always seem the type too…" but Hermione cut her off.

"No it was not girly underwear. Harry's underwear is very manly if you must know!" The girl's eyebrows shot up and Hermione threw up her hands frustrated. "You know what I mean. The black-mail had nothing to do with clothing… it was… well do you remember that video we made in our seventh year?" The question seemed to startle the other girls but they all nodded recalling the racy video and blushing even thinking about it.

"Yes, I recall Ronald telling me something about the boys finding it, but what does that have to do with black-mailing Harry?" Luna said confused. A wicked smile spread across Hermione's face and she horridly got up and headed towards her bedroom leaving the confused girls alone on the couch. But they weren't given long to wait as Hermione came striding back in the room pulling a black tape out of it's box and shoving it in the VCR before grabbing the remote and joining the stunned girls again on the couch.

"Well apparently after watching it they got… inspired." And with one more dramatic moment she pressed the play button on the remote and a scene popped upon the television screen that made the other girls roar with laughter.

"No?!" Ginny roared with laughter as soft music started playing out of the speakers and the three men on screen started swaying to the beat.

"Yes!" Hermione managed through her fits of laughter before a lone voice started singing.

**Would you dance  
if I asked you to dance?  
Would you run  
and never look back?  
Would you cry  
if you saw me cry?  
And would you save my soul, tonight?**

"Eww… it's my brother!" Ginny's eyes almost burst out of her skull and Luna just looked on amused. Who knew that Ron Weasley insensitive man that he was could sing so softly and beautifully. Hermione only sat their laughing wickedly at the scene playing out in front of them, and she knew who was up next.

**Would you tremble  
if I touched your lips?  
Would you laugh?  
Oh please tell me this.  
Now would you die  
for the one you loved?  
Hold me in your arms, tonight.**

"Awww… see Draco looks cute singing, but Ron just looks creepy!" Ginny exclaimed only to receive a nasty look from Luna.

"For your information I think Ron looks like a right stud muffin singing!" Luna exclaimed defensively. Ginny looked away mouthing 'stud-muffin' to Hermione who only laughed at her two friends antics.

"Shhh… next is the best part!" Hermione said, and they all fell silent.

**I can be your hero, baby.  
I can kiss away the pain.  
I will stand by you forever.  
You can take my breath away**

It had finally been Harry's turn to step up to the plate. The only thing that could have made the moment less comical was the fact that they were all thoroughly amazed at his singing voice. But Hermione smiled inwardly knowing that the moment would turn funnier faster than any of them could expect.

**Oh, I just want to hold you.  
I just want to hold you.  
Am I in too deep?  
Have I lost my mind?  
I don't care...  
You're here tonight.**

"Ok the singing I can handle!" Ginny burst out wiping happy tears from her eyes "But dancing, really?!" She motioned at the three men who were moving in perfectly in sync with one another.

"Harry told me they practiced the moves for three days straight!" and they died laughing as the boys continued to sing in perfect harmony of one another.

**I can be your hero.  
I can kiss away the pain.  
And I will stand by you forever.  
You can take my breath away.  
You can take my breath away.**

And with that the tape went blank and the girls fell on the floor with laughter. It was probably the funniest thing they had ever seen in their lives.

"Hermione I've got to hand it to you." Ginny finally said somewhere in between roars of laughter. "When you said you had black-mail on the Harry Potter I thought it would be embarrassing pictures of a bad night in a pub, but this, this is better than I expected!" Hermione gave a small bow before dissolving into more fits of giggles.

"It was a complete and utter surprise to me the first time I saw it also." They had died down a little now and were all wiping their eyes do to tears. "I was simply doing my annual spring cleaning when I stumbled across it stuffed in the back of one of the shelves in a bookcase. Of course after I watched it Harry explained that when they saw are video they wanted to do their own for us, you know, to make them look 'sexier'." She said the word with air quotes and the girls giggled like they were seventeen again. "But after they watched it they realized what we do and deemed it utterly ridiculous. They took a pact never to speak of it again." The girls laid back against the couch taking in what they had just seen before Luna spoke up.

"Well I don't know about you two bird's, but I am completely tired. Plus this one" she chucked a pillow at Hermione "is getting married tomorrow. I say we turn it in for the night." And with a nod of their heads and a flick of their wands they made make shift beds on the floor and immediately fell asleep in them.

The next morning bloomed early and bright as the wedding party rushed around making sure every last detail was in place before the bride and groom could say 'I do'. Between all of the hustle and bustle the two who were actually getting married only found but a moment to speak.

"Did you have fun last night?" Hermione asked him after giving him a soft peck on the lips. He knew she was genuinely interested, but was wondering if anything had gotten out of hand.

"Yes I did. It was beer and the Godfather marathon just like I promised it would be." She visibly relaxed. Infidelity was not a good way to start a marriage. "What about you, did you have fun at your little sleep over?" his voice sounded bitter. He hadn't wanted them to have separate parties. He wanted to spend their last un-wed night alone, but Hermione had insisted.

"It was good… All innocent fun… nothing out of the ordinary happened." She stammered trying to cover up her obvious betrayal. But she had always been a terrible liar.

"That's good… so did Ginny and Luna like the video as much as you did?" he asked in the most innocent tone he could muster without laughing. Her mouth fell open.

"How did you know?!" she exclaimed with a mixture of shock and anger in her voice.

"Well, Luna blushed every time she looked at me, and I over heard Ginny asking Draco if his ambition in life was to be her hero." Hermione laughed at what he had said but proceeded to blush.

"So you're not mad at all?" The question hung in the air for a moment before Harry swooped down and gave her a light kiss.

"No, the minute that video put a smile on your face I started loving it, because whatever makes you happy makes me happy, and I don't even care if it comes at my own cost. I love you Hermione, and that will never change."


End file.
